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Saturday, March 01, 2008
It's been a while since I last typed an entry here and it's probably because I've been happy with my life lately. I have found the person right for me and it sure made up for all the hardships I've been through in the four years of my so-called love life in the past.
Unfortunately, issues in the family haven't disappeared. Around two weeks ago, my aunt from Canada arrived to spend a short vacay here in the country and she's been staying with the rich aunt since day one. Of course, they all live in the same village so access to the just-arrived aunt is easy.
Last Monday, during the rich aunt's birthday, just-arrived aunt kept on asking my mom to take her out. My mom committed her Saturday to her, that instead of work, she will be accompanying her to the mall (with me as the driver, of course). All that time, I could hear evil aunt who kept on saying, "Sunday nalang para kasama si daddy (her husband, who's sporting a Revo)." That's because she knows that if Saturday's malling pushes through, she probably won't be able to come because my car has a limited seating capacity.
My mom has been looking forward to the mall trip. She didn't go to work and she has mentioned about our trip several times this week. I was also looking forward to it, though not as much as my mom was, I suppose. However, the one I've been dreading to happen started happening last night, when my cousin, who's one of the daughters of evil aunt, sent me a message asking if I can come with them to Subic this early Sunday morning. Rich aunt rented a van that can only accommodate 10 people. I told mom about it and told her that it may be an indication that our mall trip will be cancelled since we'll be going out that Sunday anyway. She called just-arrived aunt this morning to ask about the mall trip and rich aunt answered. She didn't give the phone to just-arrived aunt, instead she answered my mom's questions. Rich aunt said that our mall trip will not push through today because on Monday, just-arrived aunt will be going to Mall of Asia with the evil aunt's daughter, and then on Tuesday, they will go to Trinoma, because evil aunt's daughter took a leave from work so she could go to the mall with just-arrived aunt. That just destroyed my morning, and probably my day. I hate them. I. HATE. THEM. SO. MUCH. I have no idea why they keep on doing bad things. I'm okay with them doing it to me because I can take it and fight back if I want to. What I'm always worried about is how my mom would feel. I feel that she's always been disappointed with how they treat her and our family.
I would love to stay and work here and be with my boyfriend, but I cannot stand seeing the evil ones still get the better of life. For now, I know that the only thing that will teach them to keep away from my family is when I give them a taste of their own medicine. I plan to work hard, get rich and be greedy.
I was frAntiC s0uL at 3/1/2008 6:49:58 am
Sunday, November 12, 2006
Wala na.
Online ako kahapon and naabutan ko yung pag online ni BF. I greeted him and he said "hi" instead of his usual "bubeeeeeeeeee". Sabi ko bakit ganun lang ang greeting nya sakin, hindi excited gaya ng dati. Tapos sabi nya, "sorry talaga, pakiramdam ko may mali." and he started asking me if I really love him. I said yes. Then he asked me why. I said because hindi ako naccomplete kung wala sha. Then he asked if I love him lang ba dahil we've been together for 4 long years, or dahil may spark. I said dahil may spark shempre but I felt something's wrong na talaga. So I started asking. He kept on saying may mali daw, and that he's sorry. I can't understand. He said he doesn't want it to come to a point that he only loves me because naaawa sha. I really felt my stomach turn. So I kept on asking me. He said the problem's not with me daw, it's with him (classic line). So puro ganun, but I kept on asking. Until it came to a point that he opened up.
He said last December, when he went to their province for a 2-week vacation (lagi shang umuuwi dun pag holidays dahil andun ang family nya), he met with his ex and talked. Narealize nya daw na he's still not over her. And that the child she has, feeling nya anak nila yun. He said wala naman daw nangyari sa kanila nung December, and yung anak malaki na daw. Sobrang sakit because he kept on stressing na nauna naman daw yung girl kesa sakin. It's just so unfair dahil 4 years kami together, and yet, balewala pala lahat ng pinagsamahan namin nung nagkita sila ng ex nya. I feel so sad. I'm upset. I want to kill him! Pero sobrang sakit talaga, kasi all this time, akala ko mahal nya ako gaya ng pagmamahal ko sakanya, pero hindi na pala, kasi gaya nga ng sabi nya, ibang tao na ang nasa isip nya.
I feel upset. I feel bad. I feel sad. I'm scared to love again. When I love, I don't know to leave any for myself. Kaya pag sinaktan ako, parang ikakamatay ko. Now I think I can't love anymore. I'm scared to get hurt.
I was frAntiC s0uL at 11/12/2006 4:56:24 am
Tuesday, October 24, 2006
So I finally got my uncle's car and I've been using it since I got my license last July. I did get bumps and scratches here and there, and there were times I was almost ready to give up, but I guess I can't really give up because I need to use the car. It's better than commuting; however I don't really like to drive my parents to the terminal all the time, but it's something I can't say no to.
Darn aunt, she's making me pay for the car. The car's 10 freakin' years old, and for all I know, she has already fully paid for it since the day she gave it to my uncle. Now my uncle sports a Revo, and it has car alarm mind you. Yeah. Well, my car can't be too far behind. We've done a lot of improvement on him since the day we got him. My dad's been going ga-ga (or ga-go?) over making him handsome. The last flood almost ruined everything though. We had to have the computer box fixed, and just last weekend we had to replace fan belts and a bearing, and fix the starter because I've been having difficulty starting it.
Anyway, my car's okay now. If I have loads of money I'd buy it a car alarm, then have it tinted and body painted to hide all the scratches. Hmm... come to think of it, I probably will decide on having a new body paint later on; you'll never know when I'll get it scratched again. But I'm really after the car tint. I hope to have it tinted before December. I'm just sooo damn broke right now. I don't even know where to get money for the succeeding days. Payday's sooo far away. And when I do get it, I have to give most of it to my aunt since I missed paying her last payday. Poor me.
I'm eyeing on a new job now, but I don't really know how to convince them to hire me. I gave my resume already, and I'm just waiting for their call. I don't know. I am overworked and underpaid with my job now, and it's really limiting me to get the things I want. Lately, I've been thinking of going back to working in a callcenter, or probably try those Online English Teaching jobs. I just want to get back and save some so I won't have to depend too much on my 'rents. I hate asking for money, but sometimes I have to, because I don't have moolah for gas. Poor me. I swear lately I've been reminiscing about my applications in IS and Reedley IS wherein both accepted me and offered me a teaching job. But I don't know if I'm stupid because I gave them up for a sped teaching experience that can help me go to the US.
I need to get my transcript ASAP! I want to start applying for a US teaching job and I really need that transcript. Geez. Help me God.
I was frAntiC s0uL at 10/24/2006 5:13:53 pm
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